


he likes to think (but then again, why would he?)

by wentzways



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Multi, erik is in here for like 3 seconds, raven is a dick, this is mostly alex/hank, umm nobody dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 12:36:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6804754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wentzways/pseuds/wentzways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is 4 am, and Hank McCoy wants to lean down and kiss Alex Summers, whisper to him to marry him, and that he loves him. But he doesn't. He can't. Not yet. Instead, he lays down to fall asleep on his chest, pecking his chin, and he smiles as the the sleeping boy scrunches his nose up at the kiss.<br/>---</p><p>He's gone.</p><p>---<br/>takes place somewhere after dofp but like,,,,, yea</p>
            </blockquote>





	he likes to think (but then again, why would he?)

He likes to think he'd be able to wake up everyday like this. He likes to think he'd be able to wake up everyday, before Alex, and slowly slide his hands up his sides, up his chest to cup his chin for a long kiss that would surely wake him up, then whisper how much he loves him in his ear. But alas, Alex is an early riser because of the draft, and it takes a lot for him to not wake up before nine. And it is four am, and Hank is probably tipsy off of only one glass of wine and he should sleep and--

He can't.

It's one of the nights where Hank can't sleep because his brain is kept up with all of the horrors of being back on Cuba and every time he closes his eyes-- He sees everything he wishes would never come true. But for people like Hank McCoy, wishes are rare (He used his on Alex.)((He has no more.)) He sees Sean dying, Darwin, and what happened to Charles. It’s on repeat in his mind. Oh god, _Charles._ It took months for him to be okay again, and more for Erik to come home. (Raven- no, Mystique is still gone and he can still hear Charles sobs late at night, echoing through the hall, Erik’s attempts to console him.). He sees Angel dying, and he sees Alex. Hank sees Alex dying, imagines if it happened during Cuba, or in the draft, and it rips him apart. His friends, No. His _family._ He sees them all.

The list is endless. 

He can't help it. He's still not used to being loved by so many people (it makes his heart warm), it makes him feel fluttery. Like he does when he's in the lab. But he'd rather turn blue and hairy before he told you that.). Losing them would make him lose a part of himself. For the most part the idea of losing Alex was like a sharp knife was brought to his heart, carved right out of him. He has nightmares of him leaving (He dreams he marries no one, Erik is gone and that the created cure is brought to the public eye. It's what gets him killed, and he thinks he probably deserves it.) and Hank to be left with nothing. Nothing but long limbs and an empty soul. It hurts him. But he wouldn't, he knows this. Alex promises and promises, and he believes him. 

It is 4 am, and Hank McCoy wants to lean down and kiss Alex Summers, whisper to him to marry him, and that he loves him. But he doesn't. He can't. Not yet. Instead, he lays down to fall asleep on his chest, pecking his chin, and he smiles as the the sleeping boy scrunches his nose up at the kiss. 

 

\-----

He's gone. The bed is cold. It's been cold for hours. It's 2 am. It is 2 _am._ He’s gone he’s gone he’s gone hesgonehesgonehe’s---. 

Hank is up in a flash, heart pounding against his rib cage. Where is he, where is he? Hank is going to lose his mind. He's running around to look. The lab, the kitchen, outside, and Alex Summers is _nowhere._ He can't call him, they don't have a _phone_ in that damn mansion. They have Charles but he's probably asleep with Erik and Hank can't face Erik, he hasn't been able to for a long time and still won't be able to. His hand is itching, turning blue and he knows he's crying. There's no note, but Alex doesn't leave unannounced and if there's no note---

Hank knows he's gone.

He wanders back to his room and he's disassociating, he knows it. He feels like he's floating in space and in water and-- 

Charles is there, soothing his mind and Hank just wants to let go. He's given Alex chance after chance but he doesn't know how much longer he has. He's blue now, fur everywhere and ginormous and a _freak._

 _‘You're not a freak, my friend.’_ Charles is still with him and Hank has never loved truly his friend so much in that moment. He sends him messages of comfort until he's calmed down and gasping quietly for air that he's forgotten how to breath.

He lets himself be lulled to sleep by Charles and dreams of death and pain and heartbreak and blue and red and how those colors used to mean so much but will never be just quite the same.

\--- 

Hank wakes to find himself in bed, a body pressed to him. He tenses when he thinks it's Alex, but it's Charles and he knows that Erik will want to kill him in the morning. He falls back asleep with tears in his eyes and the words “Come back,” hanging from his tongue, to keep up the hope that Alex would return.

\---

He doesn't. 

\--- 

Hank has moved on. He has. That's what he tells himself when he sees blonde hair peer out from an isle at the store. As he's looking for Erik and Charles, who are probably terrorizing other mutant kids in the store or vigorously making out enough to scare them. He's hesitant in walking over, but he does and it's not Alex.

It's Raven. Ahem, it's _Mystique._

He greets her with a smile but her eyes look broken and he knows. 

She knows where Alex is, or what happened to him, and he has to go now. 

He swiftly turns and walks to where he thinks the troublesome two will be and they pay and leave as fast as they arrive. 

\---

Charles knows she's back and lets her stay at the mansion again. Just like he let Erik in. Hank is bitter and locks himself in his lab for days on end, talking to no one.

\---

Charles can't find Alex. 

He's gone. 

So is Hank. 

\---

They find Alex. 

\---

His body is washed up and bloodied on the beach. He's alive, he is, but barely. Hank isn't sure if he's happy, or if he's angry. He's numb. Still numb, because it's been weeks without Alex and he's not at the mansion anymore, he's found himself an apartment in DC and the only reason Charles gets totell him is because he finally managed to locate him. Hank was smart. He hid. 

When he finally makes his way up to Alex, it has been exactly 1 month, 3 weeks, and 4 days since has last seen him. He finds him in the garden. He's still bandaged and rather bruised, but he is ok and Hanks heart crumbles because he loves this boy but he _left him._

“I didn't leave.” Alex begins, and Hanks eyes narrow. 

“I _didn't._ I had to find Mistique. I-”

And Hank doesn't want to hear more, because it's _her_ fault and he can't believe- 

He once loved Raven. 

Now Hank hates her. He can feel himself turning blue, anger settling in, Alex hobbling over, arms encircling him. 

“I love you.” He mumbles. 

It's not often spoken between them, because they lose friends constantly ( _He thinks of Banshee, Angel, and Darwin._ ) and they can't pretend they'll always be okay. But right now they are and Alex is back and--.

Hank just might be okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> hi this took forever and i might add an alternate ending but at this point i just wanna post it but anyways thanks @soulpunkk for reading this and helping me out ur the sweetest and best friend i could ever ask for lov u
> 
>  
> 
> my tumblr is havo-k if you want to follow me and talk to xmen with me


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